Hate-Watching the Bachelor

I guess calling it Hate-Watching isn't quite right, because I actually find elements of The Bachelor amusing. I'll steal my friend's term and call what my girlfriends and I do a "snark attack".

For those unfamiliar with snark and/or Chelsea Handler, here's the definition from urban dictionary:

Snark

noun

Combination of "snide" and "remark". Sarcastic comment(s).
Also snarky (adj.) and snarkily (adv.)

His commentary was rife with snark.
"Your boundless ineptitude is astounding," she snarkily declared.

 

Evidently it could also mean a mysterious, imaginary animal. It was coined by Lewis Carroll in his poem, The Hunting of the Snark.

But I digress. The Bachelor is basically my replacement for Sunday brunch with the ladies.

...and none of us is dressed like, well, however you would describe these "ladies".

Instead of mimosas in Manhattan, girlfriends connect from across the country via Facebook. We gather  together to revel in our bachelor Sean's ridiculous, amazing journey around the world in search of true love. Each Monday (and twice this week because of a special two-part episode!!) we meet on "the most dramatic FB post ever," and we're up to 689 comments. Some choice comments from this week's two-part episode are:

"I do like this nonskank Selma chick."

"'I just don't know how I'm gonna react'. It's not foreshadowing when you just basically TRIED to get hypothermia."

"The crazy inside is more important than the crazy outside."

"...you have just hit on the best mashup ever proposed. The Bachelor games. I would totally watch one of these girls beat Tierra's head with a rock to win this thing."

"Yeah, I'll believe you are legit when you throw a burka over those mams."

"Yeah, I think we all figured out that a "professional organizer" might be code for 'straight up OCD'".

In honor of this season's winner of the producers' "villain edit", I've taken the liberty of creating a visual to go along with Tierra's new nickname, Tierra-ist:

She drops your guard with the oxygen tube, and then.... BOOM!!!

So while it might seem ridiculous and/or odd to my fiance, it's really waaaaaay more feasible than meeting up in Vegas, NYC, or elsewhere to have a 2 hour fiesta with the ladies. One of these days I'll get legit about the Bachelor Drinking Game. In the meantime, I'll just have to enjoy Monday nights sober and laughing silly.